Jan 28
by Bernard Uzi Weingarten Ever wonder how to really help somebody when they come to you for advice? This story of a conversation I had with Sam, a long-time friend, illustrates one of the important keys of skillful, effective communication. Sam was telling me about his strained relationship with his brothers. “They keep me at …
Nov 21
Communicating with compassion often means setting boundaries. We don’t usually connect “kindness” and “boundary setting.” At least I didn’t for many years. I imagined that kindness is about listening with empathy, responding with compassion, treating others with dignity, doing random (and not so random) acts of kindness, and the like. What did this have to …
Oct 23
So you already know that one of the key skills of giving advice is Ask or Have. That is, either Ask Permission to give advice or Have an Invitation. (You can read the first part this article here: Part 1.) That being said, there is a skillful and less skillful way to Ask Permission. Sometimes …
Aug 25
We have all been taught that interrupting is rude and impolite. But that is not always the case. There are times when interrupting is both appropriate and effective, provided it is done skillfully. One such situation is when people are ‘circling’, that is, repeating the same information again and again and not adding anything new. …
Jul 25
Isn’t it great when you see a sale and that something you want has been discounted? I sure like seeing that. But in dealing with people and responding to their concerns, discounting is a mistake. I am reminded of this true story (names have been changed). I was attending a farewell party a while back …
Jun 26
In part two of The Art Of Giving Advice, we’ll take a look at four critical errors that are often made in the name of offering advice. Critical Advice Giving Mistake #1: Discounting “You shouldn’t feel that way” is an excellent way to shut down a conversation, cause people emotional pain and undermine relationships. Critical Advice Giving Mistake …
May 26
The Art Of Giving Advice involves mastering the ability to offer suggestions while avoiding the resentment that often accompanies unwelcome advice. Below are eight keys that are essential to practice if you truly want to become a master of giving advice without getting shot. Art of Giving Advice Skill #1: “Listen First” Skilled communicators take …
Apr 25
The Importance Of Verifying In Effective Communication is absolutely vital Too often, rather than verifying, we jump to conclusions about what may be really going on with the other person and/or what they are communicating to us. Below I share a recent experience that illustrates this. I was making conversation with Debbie, manager of …
Mar 21
Listening effectively is one of the best and most loving gifts that we can offer to another person. This is especially true when somebody is hurt or upset about something and shares it with us. All too often, in spite of our good intentions, we find ourselves responding to others in ways that are not …
Feb 26
Do you know “how to give advice”, without being on the receiving end of anger and resentment? There is often a temptation, when listening to others, to express our opinions about what they have done, what they could have done, and what they should do. Often, this stems from a genuine desire to be helpful.However, unless …